A “gentleman” originally was defined as a mild-mannered wealthy man with social power, who didn’t do any manual labor. Presently, a “gentlemen” is defined as a man who is chivalrous and helpful to women. But didn’t the Lord create women to be helpful to men and not vice versa?
Genesis 2:18, 21-23 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Isn’t it written that the woman is created FOR THE MAN and not vice versa?
I Corinthians 11:8-9 “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
So where did this “gentleman” rhetoric—men being chivalrous to women—come from, because it definitely didn’t come from the bible?
What happened was “baby boomer” born men (from 1946 -to- 1964) who were babies or in their youths doing the first wave feminist movement of the 1960’s, got inculcated by a myriad amount of adult women that American men are notorious for being abusive to American women. Than, subsequently, these “baby boomer” born men—inspired by their feminist “teachers”—made a manhood maladjustment (being chivalrous to women). Whereas they inculcated all the generations of men born after them to be “gentleman.” All so that subsequent generations of men can show themselves as being “a man,” by being a “gentleman.”
The religious baby boomer born men took the merciful man (who gave honor to the weaker vessel), who did chivalrous acts to women in paucity, and made it into some ubiquitous observance for all men to do at all times for women.
Back in the day, merciful men will see a woman (who they knew) carrying a jog of water from a well that was a half of mile away, and then to give the woman some relief, merciful men will take the jog of water from her and carry it the rest of her journey. Even today, you see merciful men giving relief to an elderly woman (who they know) by carrying her heavy groceries for her. The key point is that THE MEN ALREADY KNEW THE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WERE WOKRING! These “gentlemen” came in to give these women—who they already knew were hard working women—some relief from a physical burden that the men could very easily handle. In other words, these “gentlemen” (merciful men) were giving honor (mercy) to the weaker vessel (women).
I Peter 3:7 “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving [honour] unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
In a lot of cases, these women who were working were being relieved by men for whom they were working for or working with. Merciful men in the past didn’t just be “gentlemen” so to speak to non-productive women and women who they didn’t know. But many baby-boomer born men, and men born after them are “gentlemen” to non-productive women and to women who they don’t even know, just based on the fact that they are women.
The general attitude from men before the “baby boomer and feminist years” was that women are not handicapped. If a woman was able to do it herself, then, she can do it herself. I know all that might be hard to believe for you baby boomer old timers but that is reality. You all are in La La land. If a woman drops her phone (or anything else), she can pick it up herself, she doesn’t need a man for that. If a woman needs a chair to sit down, she can get her own chair and sit down, she don’t need a man to go get her chair for her. Besides, women today are “independent” of men aren’t they? Women can’t be “independent women” and simultaneously expect that men should be a “gentleman” (merciful) unto them at the same time. That is a straight up contradiction.
It may seem like a sweet gesture for a man to be a “gentleman” to a woman, but really it is an indirect insult to a woman’s physical autonomy. The “gentleman” dynamic is no different than say a “gentlewoman” picking up after a grown man. These “gentlewomen” will complain that men are not children that they can clean up after themselves when it comes to simple task. Like cleaning up after themselves after eating, cleaning the bathtub after using it, etc. Same thing goes for women that they are not children. Men shouldn’t pull out chairs for women as if they are putting a little child in a booster sit to eat. Men shouldn’t have to open up doors for women as if women are little children that can’t reach the door knob or are not physically strong enough to turn the door knob and open the door. Thus, a man who is being a “gentleman” to a woman, and the woman who is letting a man be a “gentleman” to her, are both indirectly saying that the woman is handicapped to the equivalent of a little girl.
I am going to say it again, “being a woman isn’t a handicap.” Women are generally weaker—physically and mentally—than men, but that doesn’t make women all together disable because they are weaker than men.
Man is a little lower (weaker) than the angels;
Psalm 8:4-6 “What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour. Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet.”
So, angels being the stronger vessels do give honor (mercy) unto man (the species), the weaker vessel, by teaching man the Word of God. Like the angel Gabriel (the stronger vessel) came to give the Prophet Daniel (the weaker vessel) skill and understanding in the Word of God.
Daniel 9:20-22 “And whiles I was speaking, and praying, and confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my supplication before the LORD my God for the holy mountain of my God; Yea, whiles I was speaking in prayer, even the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the beginning, being caused to fly swiftly, touched me about the time of the evening oblation. And he informed me, and talked with me, and said, O Daniel, I am now come forth to give thee skill and understanding.”
Yet it doesn’t make man (the species) altogether disable or handicapped because they are generally weaker than the angels. There are extraordinary men (the weaker vessels) who understand on their own merit such profound things in the Word of God that even some of the angels (the stronger vessels) don’t understand.
I Peter 1:11-12 “Searching what, or what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ, and the glory that should follow. Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us (Peter and the rest of the apostles) they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven; which things the angels desire to look into.”
The dynamic above of angels and man is analogous to the dynamic of men and women. Although women are generally the weaker vessel juxtapose to men, yet some women are still extraordinary and can achieve and understand things that a lot of men wish they could do and understand. Even to the degree that great men like the general Barak who was skeptical of going to war without the presence of the extraordinary woman of his time (Deborah) going with him.
Judges 4:4-9 “And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time. And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment. And she sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedeshnaphtali, and said unto him, Hath not the LORD God of Israel commanded, saying, Go and draw toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun? And I will draw unto thee to the river Kishon Sisera, the captain of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand. And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go. And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman . And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh.”
Thus, there is no excuse for a man to be a “gentleman” unto a woman, just because she is a woman, as if being a woman is a handicapped or a disablement.
God’s servant is to give honor (mercy) to those who have a handicapped of some sort. If someone has a handicap, then a servant of God should help them compensate for that, that the handicap person may be on the servant of God’s level of vitality. This is what Paul was talking about when he wrote that we should bestow more abundant honor (mercy) to those feeble members (handicap people) that lack. That there be no schism (envy and strife) in the body (church) of Christ, from making those feeble members seem like they are not pertinent in God’s house of prayer.
I Corinthians 12:20-27 “But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour (mercy); and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked. That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.”
Paul was saying in the scripture above that we should appreciate the members who seem to be less honorable by bestowing upon them honor (mercy) that they want feel left out or not pertinent in the scheme of things. This is what men should do to women. A man ought to show his woman appreciation (but only if the woman has done certain things consistently to be appreciated for, otherwise it will be vanity to show her appreciation for little or nothing) for the work she has contributed to the scheme of things, although her work may be less honorable (less significant) than what the man has contributed. So that no schisms (envy and strife) between the man and his woman come about.
With all that said, a man shouldn’t be a “gentleman” in the aspect that western society thinks of it now. The western “gentleman” isn’t showing his woman his appreciation for her work or for the tangibles that she brings to the table (especially if he doesn’t even know the woman), he is just showing her some attention. Because in most cases, the woman hasn’t done any work consistently for the man (i.e. Gen 2:18, I Corin 11:9) that she deserves all the accolades (attention) from the man. The western man is devaluing himself by giving all this attention and accolades to some woman who hasn’t done anything noteworthy for him. If she has consistently worked, if she has consistently done good-wifey things for the man (i.e. Gen 2:18, I Corin 11:9), then the accolades isn’t attention, it’s deserve appreciation. Absolutely the only reason a man should be a “gentleman” and give accolades to his woman, is because his virtuous woman has worked consistently, and she consistently has done good things for the man (i.e Gen 2:18, I Corin 11:9). Therefore gentlemen, give women accolades (praise) for their works which they have done FOR YOU and on your behalf. Don’t give women accolades (praise) just for their beauty (which is vanity), or because of the fact that they are women (or mothers).
Proverbs 31:10, 29-31 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful,[and beauty is vain]: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands (appreciation); and let her own [works] praise her in the gates.”
It would be absurd for a woman to appeal to a man’s primordial need (an orgasm) without the man doing something for the woman in return, like teaching her knowledge, protecting her from all harm, and providing for her. As well, it’s absurd for a man to appeal to a woman’s primordial need (attention), for a man to give her praise and accolades without the woman consistently doing any good [works] for the man.
Remember, giving honor to the weaker vessel as Peter says in I Peter 3:7 doesn’t mean that men should reverence their wife or women in general, it plainly means that men should give their wives or women in general mercy or appreciation when applicable. While women—according to scripture—are to give honor to their husbands or men in general by giving them respect and reverence because of their God giving positions over them. Women giving honor and reverence to men have nothing to do with being applicable, it’s automatic because it’s God’s due order. It’s analogous to a new boss (husband/man) coming in to an office (marriage-relationship). The new boss doesn’t have to prove himself to get his new subordinate’s (wife/woman) respect (honor). His natural position over his subordinates automatically warrants respect (honor) from his subordinates. The subordinates are the ones who must prove themselves by consistently following the new bosses’ orders before they expect to get mercy or appreciation (honor) from their new boss. The just aforementioned example is how ALL superior and subordinate positions work. Men, the God ordained superiors of women, don’t have to earn the respect (honor) of their women, their God giving positions alone over their women, and over women in general, grants respect automatically to them. Now men can lose respect from being abusive, negligent, deceptive, and slanderous toward their women, nonetheless, men never have to initially earned respect from their women. Besides, how can a man be the head of woman (I Corin 11:3), if he must earn that privilege from the woman first. Look like the woman is the head of the man if that’s the case. Since she decides alone (not God alone) if her husband will be her head or not. Thus, the husband’s desire of being his wife’s head is unto his wife, which is so contrary to scripture (cf. Genesis 3:16).
Western society’s etiquette and laws have made it automatic that women are to be respected and reverence by men. While men in western society, have to both give mercy and reverence unto women unconditionally, but receive respect and reverence from women “when applicable”—at a woman’s own discretion. As if women are the “new boss” and the superior over men. Western society’s etiquette of being a “gentleman” is pure vanity and so contrary to scripture.
This was the Doctrine of the Gathering of Israel